As you search for a junior boarding school for your son, one of the best ways to obtain useful information is to speak with other parents whose children attend the schools you’re considering. What should you ask them?

Here are the top questions we think will help you to gain an insider’s view of any junior boarding school.

We chose these 10 questions because they’ll encourage other parents to provide detailed answers, giving you an honest appraisal of the school and highlighting the facts that will really matter to you and your son.

1. Why did you choose this school over others?

Most families look closely at several schools before settling on a junior boarding school for their son. This question allows families to learn more about what sets a school apart on a granular level, rather than looking at boarding schools holistically.

This question is especially useful because many parents will have considered some of the same schools on your own short list. It will give you some insight into what sets these various schools apart.

2. Has your son’s experience lived up to the expectations set by the school during the admissions process?

At some schools, the gap between what the admissions department says during campus tours and interviews, and what students actually experience can be quite wide. This is the main reason you should talk to parents as well as admissions staff before choosing a school.

3. How well does the school communicate with you?

This is a great question to ask if you’re nervous about your son being away at school. Maybe this this is the first time your son will be away from home for such an extended time. You’ll feel reassured if the other parents tell you that the school communicates effectively and continually shares how their sons are doing.

4. What factors at the school have made the biggest impact on your son’s academic progress?

If the parents you talk to say their son thrived academically at a school, perhaps going on to a top-notch secondary school, find out what helped their son thrive. What allowed their son to achieve as much as he did? Was it the overall school culture? Was it academic support the school provided in a specific subject? Was it because the school specializes in educating boys?

The answer could be support from the skills center, one-on-one tutoring, or an excellent classroom teacher. Whatever it is, asking this question will help you understand just what makes a particular school special.

5. How diverse is the international student population? What is the balance between international and domestic students?

Some families want a broad-based international population at the school they choose. Others want to make sure their son will have domestic classmates to spend time with, as well as international ones.

At Fessenden, we think the right mix is a healthy balance between international and domestic students, and diversity among both populations. Diversity enriches the academic experience and helps prepare the boys for the global world they will encounter as adults. That’s why we work diligently every year to attract the best students from all over the U.S. and the world.

6. What does the school provide for weekend activities and trips?

It’s vital to get a feel for what the school does to help keep students engaged during their free time. Ask parents if there’s a comprehensive weekend program that allows their sons to participate in the activities they enjoy.

One of the factors that influences a boarding student’s weekend experience is the geographic location of the school. Sprawling campuses located in remote areas have a lot of advantages, but it is difficult for them to offer a weekend itinerary filled with diverse cultural, artistic, and athletic options. Depending on your son’s interests, you may want to consider a school that has easy access to a major city, as well as the great outdoors. Our close proximity to Boston, and the short drive to all that New England has to offer, are some of the reasons people tell us that Fessenden has one of the best weekend programs in the country.

7. How easy is it for your son to come home?

You’ll want to be sure your son is in good hands during his travel to and from school, especially if you’re sending your son to a junior boarding school far from where you live. Navigating airports, buses, and other transportation options can be harrowing for young boys.

Does the school have staff dedicated to working with parents and students to ensure boys get home safely or is it left to the parents to manage travel? Is the school near a major transportation hub or will travel be a complicated, multi-hour ordeal? Who will be there to help if a flight gets cancelled or your child gets sick and is unable to travel as planned? Most schools have clear procedures and guidelines for student travel. Just make sure you are comfortable with the plan your school of choice employs.

8. How much time does your son spend traveling to athletic matches?

If a school is located in a remote area, not only will it be hard for your son when traveling to and from your home, but he may also have to spend several hours traveling to athletic events. Many parents don’t think to ask about this aspect of boarding school life.

At some schools, boys spend up to seven hours off campus to play in a single soccer game, when you factor in travel time, game time, and a stop for a meal. Again, less remote schools tend to have the advantage here.

9. How do you feel about a boarding school also having day students?

This question is very relevant for schools that take day students as well as boarders. Parents are concerned that schools with a mix of day and boarding populations are “suitcase schools.”

“Suitcase school” is a term usually used to refer to schools where students live on campus during the week, but pack up their suitcases and head home on the weekend. That’s not quite the case at a boarding school with a mix of day and boarding students, but for parents, the concern is the same. Parents worry their son will feel isolated on evenings and weekends, with nothing to do after their day classmates go home.

As we wrote in question six, some schools provide a vibrant range of weekend and evening activities to keep their boarding students engaged. Having day students as part of our community also fosters friendships between day students and boarding students. This can lead to opportunities for boarding students to go for overnight visits at the homes of good friends, enjoying home cooked meals and some time off campus.

10. Ask about anything else you want to know.

Don’t be afraid to ask other parents questions that speak to your specific concerns — even if they’re the kinds of questions you would hesitate to ask admissions staff.

You might want to know if the school is too athletics-oriented for your non-athletic son, for example. Perhaps you’d like to know if bullying is likely to be an issue. Nothing should be off the table when it comes to the next few years of your son’s life.

Schools want you to talk to other parents.

Most schools, including Fessenden, believe there’s no better way to find out about a school than to ask the parents of other boarding students. If you don’t know anyone with a son at a particular school, ask the  admissions team to put you in contact with a current or past boarding family that might have had the same concerns as you.